Here is a story on what causes aggression in children. Once upon a time there lived a 2 month old baby with her parents. The child was much loved and cared for. Here name was Tina and the entire family doted on her. It was a nuclear family wherein the Mom and Dad both had very nice and important
jobs.Both parents tried to spend time with their little princess after office and on weekends.Little Tina started growing up and she was so bright. At age one and half she could dabble with mobile phone!!! Amazing!!! The parents were thrilled.
So the happy life continued. Tina’s Mom is a super performer.She is great at her job and a perfectionist at home, her kitchen is spic and span , her management of home is like a clockwork so everything is a taken care of very well. She is good with her help at home , her only expectation being that they should do what they have been hired for. Fair enough. Dad is high achiever , loves News and cricket. And of course loves to network and mobile comes in handy. He dotes on Tina and when talking to her he has that indulgent smile on his face and he can do this while playing games like candy crush on his phone.
On a typical Saturday morning the TV is on and everyone ….Mom Dad and Tina are having breakfast. Tina is happy , her parents are asking her if she likes what she is eating. They occasionally keep peeping at their phones just to ensure they are not missing anything.Her Mom is talking to her but then her phone rings suddenly , she has to take this call. Meanwhile Dad’s also phone rings and he is so upset with somebody in office. Tina is handed over a video on I Pad while her parents finish talking on phone. Tina loves I Pad as it gives her full attention.
Later the three of them are going out….to a mall of course…… and Tina’s Mom really wants to buy the grocery without interruptions so she hands over the phone with video to Tina in her pram. Tina loves the spideman video .
Tina’s parents really care about her health and security so they always accompany her when she is playing with friends. Always gently guiding her what to do and what not
to do in case she hurts herself. Tina be careful, Tina don’t jump you will fall, no pushing Tina and so on. And if some children are coughing better to keep Tina away. Her parents are very selective with friends.
And Tina is such a sweet child that whenever she asks for something she mostly gets it after all her parents can afford. If she cries her Mom feels so upset and guilty that she offers her whatever she likes a chocolate. a new game, a colour box set, movie on TV…..When Tina eats well she gets rewarded, when Tina says a poem she gets rewarded , when Tina says good morning…….mostly with stuff and words like you are so lovely. And off course she hears how special she is hundred times a day. Great for self esteem .
Tina is now 4 and a rather shy and quiet girl.She loves to be on her own with I Pad or phone.Suddenly her parents start noticing that she gets very angry and throws things around. She pushes and hits friends and indulges in behaviour like making angry gestures,using foul words, tearing papers and defying parents. Teachers are flagging her disinterest in school and aggressive behaviour. Parents are bewildered and wonder what did we do wrong? Is it our fault? What happened? Nobody is aggressive in the family. Sounds familiar?
What happened to Tina in my next blog. # aggression in children
